Are You Technoligically Insane?

Do you have Chockoblockchainlallia?

Or Frontenduxmosis?

Maybe we can help.

A few days ago, I was swapping thoughts with someone and he said that mental health diagnosis is difficult. And, of course, it is. Largely, because with physical illnesses you know where your aches are and can accept that you are ill. With mental health, it’s different. You think that what you do is ‘normal’ and you have to get pretty out of hand before anybody recognises that your mental health is not what it should be- and takes action.

This morning, I thought that perhaps this is true of all of us. And so, would like to proudly announce the opening of Peter Stannack’s Sanatorium for the Technologically Insane.

Do you suffer from any of the following?

DigiChickenLittleanoia. You read publications from consultants who tell you that digital is going to create hypercompetitive markets and ‘disrupt’ industries that were already dying from other unrelated causes and try to piggy back these by republishing their ‘research’

Fringitalis. You cannot code and your knowledge of databases is limited to O level Access, and yet, because you don’t have to do it you feel qualified to speak on anything from Machine Learning to AWS Elasticsearch in the Cloud.

Chockoblockchainlallia. You have a picture of Satoshi Nakamoto (in silhouette) over your bed and cannot form a sentence without using the prefix “crypto” or the word “distributed”. You think that if you incentivise people with greed, there will be a revolution.

Frontenduxmosis. This is when you believe that the endless changes your client wants to make his or her website look like Facebook and act like the latest awful zombie multi-hybrid platform will make you lots of money and have no consequences for your self-esteem or your relationship with the back end engineers who must breathe life into such a Frankensteinian creature

Swagmania. This is when your wild ass guess is not at all scientific, but is clothed in so many layers of R and algorithmic complexity, no one can make use of it. But it costs so much money, no one dares say so. You are safe because you are complicit with the client- until the management changes.

TechTiquallegia. This is where you are utterly and absolutely convinced that containerized microservices running on Java 9 is the best- or in extreme cases- the only way to fulfil the project requirements.

Suffer no longer. Now there is- if not treatment- hope of treatment. Come to our sanatorium today. Paypal donations welcome. Bitcoin accepted in a pinch. BTW, this is a joke. Well the payment request, anyway ;-)